oh yes

It feels so good when you blow your nose and a giant booger comes out, doesn't it? That's right.

THE question of all time

I've always wanted to ask a paraplegic why they wouldn't just amputate their legs since they don't work. Is that rude? I thought of this the other day when I was assisting in repairs for a special racing wheelchair at work and wondered why this guy was spending so much money on improvements when he could shed a good chunk of weight by cutting off his legs that don't work thereby making his work effort more efficient. It's not like they need them anymore right? Needless to say I didn't ask him. I fell victim to PC once again.

late night boredom

So, I made the mistake of drinking a Dr. Pepper at or around 9 pm this evening (or yesterday evening if you want to be technical) and now here it is, almost 2 am and I'm wide awake even though I'm not doing anything but watching stupid youtube videos. So now that I'm bored I thought I'd write a note and see if it makes any sense later on (which it probably won't because I'm in tired-but-unable-to-sleep mode).
This is my note: smoke detectors suck. Seriously, the ones in our house are possessed. By the devil. This is not the first time that they decide they're not getting enough attention and have to make sure I notice that they're there. "But Tyson, just cause they beep occasionally does not mean they're possessed." Sure, but when you unplug them from the power and take out the batteries and set them in the corner and they STILL beep then you know you're dealing with the devil. It's a good thing I'm trained in dealing with devils. I got trained that one time. In that one place. And speaking of that one place, I think that bears are scary in the wild, and I once saw a bear in the wild about 40-50 feet away and it was running and it was scary.
After thinking about what I just typed I realized I should stop. Hopefully my grammar isn't as bad as what I think I just wrote. I would proofread but that's for sucks.

Something you don't see every day

That's a full size bus getting a burger from a drive-up window. Yup. My thoughts exactly.

200 Grand Baby!!

My car did it. It effin did it! That's right ladies and gentlemen, my car surpassed the 200,000 mile mark. The picture is the proof! Sorry it's a little blurry but that's what happens when you're trying to take a picture with your phone going 70 mph and trying to steer and watch traffic as well. It's kinda hard to get a picture close enough too that you can see the numbers. Anyway, this actually happened a little while ago (I'm now at about 201,000) but I've been meaning to blog about it for some time. Milestones like this mean reminscing right? So here's a few things my car and I have done/seen/been:

• Without this car Jessica and I may not be together. That's right, this car was the instrument that essentially brought us together when it carried us to Vegas (the first time we actually hung out)
• My first car purchase (I felt so grown up)
• It took me to Denver to see Metallica, Deftones, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, and Mudvayne (I think that's all) plus we got to tour the Coor's factory
• Las Vegas, multiple times
• Canada TWICE, and once we almost died when we crossed the border and within about 20 minutes my car's alternator decided to quit and we had to find a mechanic in a strange town and get it fixed, which sucked but oh well. My infinit also put out some magic charm when I passed a RCMP car going about 20 mph (or aboot 30 clicks) over the speed limit, who then followed me for about 5 miles (or aboot 8 clicks) but then decided not to pull me over.
• Wheelin in Nelson, BC
• All over northern utah, and then some. I once logged about 30,000 miles in a year
• Been broken into TWICE. The first time they stole all my stereo stuff but left my sunglasses of which I was quite happy. The second time they took NOTHING because my stereo is bolted to the dash. At least it used to, now it's gone because I took it out cause I'm sick of people breaking into my car.
• The one time my car truly let me down was when I was in Cedar City and the electronics went psycho so I didn't dare drive to Orem, UT to see TOOL, a decision I now think was stupid cause I ended up having to drive it home all psycho'ed out anyway.
• We got off the freeway one day coming home from work and my whole engine compartment was engulfed in smoke. Lesson learned - if your AC compressor goes out you should remove it instead of letting it sit and eventually locking up causing the belt to burn up.
• I once got stuck in a freakin car wash. Winter + cold temps + lots of water = ice everywhere
• I've only had the valet key for the vehicle, I've never had the master key so my key has never worked for the trunk, I've relied solely on the opener from the inside. Now I have to rely on that since my lock has been punched out.
• I once drive my car into a garage with bikes on the roof rack. Big NO NO. I still have damage all over my roof and had to get a new rack. Amazingly, the bikes were 100% fine. The worst part of all this? I hadn't been driving all day and forgot about the bikes. No, it was raining and I wanted to work on something on my car so I was gonna drive it into my friends garage so I walked out to my car, got in, and then drove into the garage. I'm a freakin genius!
• My fuses went weird once and I went about a month without a speedometer or odometer. So actually I might've hit 200,000 miles a while ago...
• My car currently has a hole in the exhaust somewhere and it's becoming increasingly loud and obnoxious. You can hear my car idling from inside my work. Amazingly it passed emmissions 3 months ago without a hitch.

The list could go on and on, but you get the idea. It's been an amazing ride G20, and I look forward to many many more years to come!! 300,000 watch out!

Got Screwed?

So, the economy is sucking and the government decides the best way to fix the problem is to let people have more money. I'm sure you've all been hearing about this. The latest proposal would give everyone within certain qualifications a rebate check. Everyone is getting all excited about this and all I can think is, "What a bunch of suckers."

Consider this, why don't you give me $100 of your hard earned money. I will then proceed to spend a lot of that money on frivolous and unproductive things "for your own good" and/or "for the children". Things like the TSA, which works so well, pay farmers to grow crops, only to throw them away, support a losing drug war that really only benefits the drug cartels, give your kids an education that's falling behind in the world, pay a majority of your money into a retirement account (actually I say I'm doing that but really I'm going and buying some booze, which means your retirement is bunk), pay for your sick neighbor's health care because they deserve it (their smoking habit isn't their fault!), and on and on. Then, when you realize you could've used the $100 for something better and actually for your (and your family's) good, I'll give you a quarter back and see how happy you are. This is exactly what's going on right now and yet people are all excited for their big check. Anyone else see a problem here?

Another point I'd like to make - if giving us back some of our own money is what it takes to stimulate the economy, why the F$#%K do they not let us keep it to begin with? Who do these "expert" politicians think they are? They tax us and think they know how to best spend it, and have all these pet projects for the "benefit" of us all, only to have them actually suck. Fools! What we really need is for us to keep our own money and we will inevitabily spend it where we see fit, which (as the new "program" proves) is what it really takes to make the economy good.

Sorry for the "hate" here but this has been peeving me all day and I needed to rant. I really am a happy person I swear.

A New Constitutional Amendment

When I get all the facts straight I would like to post a blog highlighting the current financial crisis the US is facing that no one seems to pay much attention to (realistically, it is the biggest issue on the table and will soon make all other issues such as health care, the war in iraq, immigration, etc, meaningless). In the meantime, I was thinking today about federal government accountability and how they basically aren't held accountable for fiscal issues. The framers of the Constitution did this on purpose because they wanted the government to be able to respond in times of war or emergency, however, because there are no limits the federal government spends way beyond its means and this is going to put us in a world of MAJOR hurt soon.
Therefore, if I were the dictator of America, I would propose a new Constitutional amendment. This amendment would make it a requirement for the federal government to provide for a surplus in the budget until we're out of debt, and when that happens (if ever) then the budget must simply remain balanced. All states abide by this concept and I believe it is the only way to handle money. The only exception to a balanced budget would be in a time of declared war (keep in mind we haven't been in an official war since World War II) or devastating natural disaster (such as Hurricane Katrina). If I were running the budget I would actually put a little away for such emergencies and make it a priority to never go into the red if we can help it.
But that's if I was in charge....

P.S. Vote for Ron Paul

TOOL

The Tool concert on Saturday night was absolutely amazing. The visual effects were astounding; Danny's drumming was out of this world; Maynard was pretty much perfect; Justin played some amazing stuff; and Adam was just brilliant as usual. I enjoyed the drum battle during Lateralus quite a bit. I didn't enjoy the jack-offs that had to invade our row and make it all crowded or the smoke everywhere but overall I had an incredible time. If you haven't seen Tool live and get the chance - take it. You won't regret it!

Sweetest thing ever!

I just had random idea. I think a demolition derby involving heavy construction equipment would be the coolest thing ever! Imagine a giant bulldozer going up against an excavator or dump truck. Can we say entertainment?

I'll show the thought police...

I did the unthinkable today. I noticed in the Union building at the U a sign that said this was a "hate-free zone". I guess their mind-reading machines weren't working cause I concentrated really hard on how much I HATE apricots and they haven't arrested me yet. Hopefully I haven't spoken too soon...